290
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam
[Canto 10, Ch. 4]
vai —indeed;  gamiṣyāmi —shall go;  brahma-hā iva —like the killer of a  brāhmaṇa ;  mṛtaḥ śvasan —either after death or while breathing.
TRANSLATION
Being merciless and cruel, I have forsaken all my relatives and friends. Therefore, like a person who has killed a  brāhmaṇa , I do not know to which planet I shall go, either after death or while breathing.
TEXT 17
दैवमप्यनृतं वक्ति न मर्त्या एव केवलम् । यद्विश्रम्भादहं पापः स्वसुर्निहतवाञ्छिशून् ॥१७॥
daivam apy anṛtaṁ vakti na martyā eva kevalam yad-viśrambhād ahaṁ pāpaḥ svasur nihatavāñ chiśūn
daivam —providence;  api —also;  anṛtam —lies;  vakti —say;  na —not;  martyāḥ —human beings;  eva —certainly;  kevalam —only;  yat-viśrambhāt —because of believing that prophecy;  aham —I;  pāpaḥ —the most sinful;  svasuḥ —of my sister;  nihatavān —killed;  śiśūn —so many children.
TRANSLATION
Alas, not only human beings but sometimes even providence lies. And I am so sinful that I believed the omen of providence and killed so many of my sister's children.
TEXT 18
मा शोचतं महाभागावात्मजान् स्वकृतंभुजः । जान्तवो न सदैकत्र दैवाधीनास्तदासते ॥१८॥
mā śocataṁ mahā-bhāgāv ātmajān sva-kṛtaṁ bhujaḥ