Text 12]
The Marriage of Kardama Muni and Devahūti
871
should not only be equal to her husband in age, character and qualities, but she must be helpful to him in his household duties. The household duty of a man is not to satisfy his sense gratification, but to remain with a wife and children and at the same time attain advancement in spiritual life. One who does not do so is not a householder but a  gṛhamedhī . Two words are used in Sanskrit literature; one is  gṛhastha , and the other is  gṛhamedhī . The difference between  gṛhamedhī  and  gṛhastha  is that  gṛhastha  is also an  āśrama , or spiritual order, but if one simply satisfies his senses as a householder, then he is a  gṛhamedhī . For a  gṛhamedhī , to accept a wife means to satisfy the senses, but for a  gṛhastha  a qualified wife is an assistant in every respect for advancement in spiritual activities. It is the duty of the wife to take charge of household affairs and not to compete with the husband. A wife is meant to help, but she cannot help her husband unless he is completely equal to her in age, character and quality.
TEXT 12
उद्यतस्य हि कामस्य प्रतिवादो न शस्यते । अपि निर्मुक्तसङ्गस्य कामरक्तस्य किं पुनः ॥१२॥
udyatasya hi kāmasya prativādo na śasyate api nirmukta-saṅgasya kāma-raktasya kim punaḥ
udyatasya —which has come of itself;  hi —in fact;  kāmasya —of material desire;  prativādaḥ —the denial;  na —not;  śasyate —to be praised;  api —even;  nirmukta —of one who is free;  saṅgasya —from attachment;  kāma —to sensual pleasures;  raktasya —of one addicted;  kim punaḥ —how much less.
TRANSLATION
To deny an offering that has come of itself is not commendable even for one absolutely free from all attachment, much less one addicted to sensual pleasure.
PURPORT
In material life everyone is desirous of sense gratification; therefore, a person who gets an object of sense gratification without endeavor should