Cutting Off Ties of Affection
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woman. A male seeks a female, and a female seeks a male. This is true not only in human society, but also in bird society, beast society, and so on. This is the beginning of material attachment. When a man finds a woman and they unite, this attachment becomes even more firmly established ( tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ ). Now, after the attachment increases to some degree, the man and woman look for an apartment in which to live together, and then, of course, the man needs to earn money. When they are well settled, they must have children and also some friends to come and praise them: “Oh, you have such a nice apartment and such nice children.” In this way one’s attachment increases.
A student’s education, therefore, should begin with  brahmacarya , which means freedom from sexual attachment. If he can, he should try to avoid all this nonsense. If not, he can marry and then after some time enter  vānaprastha , retired life. At that time one thinks, “Now that I have enjoyed this attachment so much, let me leave home.” Then the man travels all over to various places of pilgrimage to become detached, and the wife goes with him as an assistant. After two or three months he again comes home to see that his children are doing nicely and then again goes away. This is the beginning of detachment. When the detachment is complete, the man tells his wife, “Now go live with your children, and I shall take  sannyāsa , the renounced order of life.” This is final detachment. The whole Vedic way of life is meant for detachment, and therefore Kuntī prays, “Kindly help detach me from this family attraction.” This is Kuntīdevī’s instruction.