275 The Nectar of Devotion
instance of exhibiting varying feelings in ecstatic love, although the
cause is one only—Krsna.

Sometimes there were great festivals in the house of Nanda
Maharaj, and all of the inhabitants of Vrndavana would assemble for
these festivals. During one such festival, Srimati Radharani was seen
wearing a golden necklace given Her by Krsna. This was immediately
detected by Mother Yasoda as well as by Radharani’s mother, because
the necklace was too long for Radharani’s neck. At the same time
Radharani could see Krsna nearby, as well as Her own husband,
Abhimanyu. So all of these things combined to make Radharani feel
very much ashamed, and with Her face shrivelled She began to look
very beautiful. In this case there was a combination of bashfulness,
anger, jubilation and lamentation. This is an instance of an aggregate
of symptoms of ecstatic love.

Kamsa once said, “What harm can this boy do to me? He has no
power.” The next moment Kamsa was informed that all of his friends
had been killed by the boy. Then Kamsa began to think in perplexity,
“Shall I go immediately and surrender unto Him? But how can a
great warrior do this?” The next moment he thought, “Why should I
be afraid of Him? There are still so many wrestlers standing to sup-
port me.” But the next moment he began to consider: “The boy is
certainly not common, because He has lifted Govardhan Hill with His
left hand. So what can I do in this connection? Let me go to Vrnda-
vana and inflict pains on all the residents there. But still I cannot even
go out, because my heart is trembling from fear of this boy!”’ This
condition of Kamsa’s mind reveals an instance of pride, lamentation,
humility, determination, remembrance, doubtfulness, anger and fear.
Actually eight different symptoms comprised the mental condition of
Kamsa. This is another instance of an aggregate of symptoms in hope-
less ecstatic love.

One householder devotee once said, “My Lord, I am so wretched
that these two eyes are never desiring to see the glorious city of
Mathura. Therefore, my eyes are actually condemned. I am nicely
educated, but my education has simply been used in government
service. I have not considered formidable time, stronger than any-
thing else, which creates and annihilates everything. To whom shall I
