385 The Nectar of Devotion

Demons like Kamsa feared Krsna, but their feelings cannot be
described as ecstatic dread in devotional service.

Ghastliness

It is understood from authoritative sources that an attachment for
Krsna because of feelings of disgust sometimes presents a ghastly
ecstasy in devotional service. The person experiencing such ecstatic
love for Krsna is almost always in the neutral stage of devotional ser-
vice, or Santa-rasa. A description of ecstatic love caused by ghastliness
is found in the following statement: “This person was formerly in-
terested solely in the matter of lust and sense gratification, and he
had perfected the greatest skill in exploiting women to fulfill his
lusty desires. But now how wonderful it is that this same man is
chanting the names of Krsna with tears in his eyes, and as soon as he
sees the face of a woman, he immediately becomes disgusted. From
the indication of his face, I would think that now he hates sex life.”

In this mellow of devotional service in ghastliness, the sub-ecstatic
symptoms are spitting upon the consideration of one’s past life, con-
torting the face, covering the nose and washing the hands. There is
also trembling of the body, forcible twisting of the body and perspir-
ation. Other symptoms which may be present are shame, exhaustion,
madness, illusion, frustration, humility, self-pity, restlessness, eager-
ness and stunning of the body.

When a devotee, lamenting for his past abominable activities, shows
special symptoms on his body, his feeling is called ecstasy in devo-
tional service in ghastliness. This is caused by the awakening of his
Krsna consciousness.

In this connection there is the following statement: “How can a
person take pleasure in the enjoyment of sex life in this body, which
is a bag of skin and bones, filled with blood, covered by skin and
flesh and which produces mucus and evil smells?” This perception is
possible only for one who is awakened to Krsna consciousness and
who has become fully cognizant of the abominable nature of this
material body.
